Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Dull News & Spam

That Facebook thing,
That Facebook thing,
I do not like that Facebook thing.

Would you like to be my friend?
And cyber hook-up, without end?
My numbers are quite good, it's true,
But they'd be better still, with you.

I would not like to be your friend,
Or cyber hook-up without end,
But kindness puts me at my best,
And I'll click "yes" to your request.

Would you like to say hello?
And watch our scanty friendship grow?
I'm at my keyboard all the time,
Just log right in and up I'll chime.

I do not wish to say hello,
And wish you would not poke me so,
I have you as a friend it's true,
But I don't quite remember you.

Would you like this on your wall?
It's cute and kitch and does enthrall,
It's kittens, cars and men so fat,
I'm sure you would laugh hard at that!

I would not like it on my wall,
Your sense of humour, does appall,
I took you as a friend, it's true,
But put some space `tween me and you.

Status updates! Surely now,
You'd love to hear (upon the hour),
About the food I ate for tea,
Or what I watch on our TV?

I would not love to hear your news,
Or listen to your wretched views.
I wonder, though it might sound drear,
What life you have when you're not here?

I mix up "their" and "there" and "they're",
I can not spell, but I don't cair.
I end each sentence with a "lol",
Just so's you know I'm being droll (lol).

That's it! I will not take it so,
I've had enough, you have to go,
You'll see your numbers drop by one,
But you won't care it's me who's gone.

With just one click I say goodbye!
I cut you loose and breathe a sigh,
But then, in horror, I do see,
ANOTHER friend is poking me!


  1. You sir are a most witty fellow... Dr. Suess would be proud!

    As a non-FB'er, I find this even more delightful, and will share with all the FB'ers I know and love!

  2. I see you are back at the poetry, hehe!

    Once I was upset when a guy I know "unfriended" me; I guess I didn't comment on his updates enough. Then I realized I was no longer annoyed by his attempts to be cool, and his constantly changing (and supremely cool, in B&W) profile picture.

    Long live real life...!

  3. You should do a book of these! Great stuff, Peter.

  4. By the way, I posted it my . . . ahem . . . Facebook page. ;-)

  5. I posted it on my own Facebook page, until I realised it might upset a few people and took it off! *phew*.

    I actually don't mind FB, but each time I read Green Eggs and Ham to my sons it reminds me of some of the people on my 'friends' list - hence the above :-)

  6. Too funny. Thanks for sharing, Peter. I am so sick of farmtown, pillow fights, pokes, requests to exchange healing gifts, bedazzle (I do hide all of that stuff, but a new game shows up every few weeks). But it has been nice to see what old friends are up to, and led to a reunion with college friends. So I like FB, but don't bother kidnapping me with a feather boa to Burma, because I don't have time for that stuff:) (Smile indicates that I wasn't being rude by saying any of that.) -Kelly

  7. hmmm, now I'm getting the urge to look everybody up on FB and start poking you ;-)