Monday, August 2, 2010

Strange, But True.

My Monday morning so far...

At 7am, I head out to the car, rubbing my hands together against the cold and breathing fog into the crisp air. I hop into the sky-blue laser and turn the key. Nothing but a hideous clicking noise. It's no problem; this has happened before. I head inside, grab Pip's keys, open the bonnet of our second car, and jump-start the laser. My ears fill with the delightful sound of an engine running.

I get down the hill, park the car, and take out my bike for the rest of the journey into the city. I feel the weight of keys in my pocket, but there shouldn't be any keys in my pocket, because there's already keys in my hand.

I've driven off with Pip's keys.

I pull out my phone to ring her and let her know. She has a dentist appointment at 10 and I don't want her scouring the house at the last moment looking for keys that aren't there. My phone rings twice, then cuts out, the screen totally blank. I only charged it on Friday, but the battery has decided it's time to retire.

Uttering a few choice words, I hop on the bike and ride to the gym, then to work. When I emerge from the lift, I hit the combination on the door to get in. But the door doesn't unlock. I try again, then a third time, but the door has made up its mind. Like Gandalf on the bridge at Moria, the gleaming steel seems to cry out "You ... shall ... not .... pass". One of my colleagues sees my pathetic expression and comes to let me in, and tells me the lock is playing up.

I get to my desk, and fire up my computer, only to discover that the network is down. There's no internet access, and no access to the computer systems of our customers in the United States. It's all on the blink.

They say there's some strange electromagnetic effect that surrounds some people, that makes light bulbs die when they walk beneath them. I wonder what the name is for the electromagnetic field that's obviously surrounding me this morning.

And it's only 11am, too. Thank God the coffee machine still works.

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