Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Contestitis Obsessivitis

So, Nathan Bransford has a bit of time on his hands and has decided to hold another competition. I had to deliberate for all of two and a half seconds before I decided to enter, competition junky that I am. This time, entrants must submit the first paragraph of a work-in-progress, to be judged initially by Nathan and then voted upon by readers of his blog.

At last count, there were nearly 700 entries, and three days to go. Why does he do this to himself?

Anyway, here is my esteemed entry, the first paragraph from the wonderful and noble work of literature entitled: "The Book That Currently Has No Title But I Hope To Come Up With A Good One Soon."

Arkansy De-Crisp Lechampion had a recurring nightmare in which he found himself fully-clothed in a public place. He would wake in a cold-sweat and sprint about his cave, knocking into cauldrons and tables and banging into the stuffed and beautifully posed sabre-toothed rapscallion, the very one he had defeated the previous summer using nothing but a fish scaling knife and an onion on a string. The usual method, of course, but Arkansy was nothing if not old-fashioned.


  1. I'd love to read more of that. I've been reading Terry Pratchett's "Going Postal" and your paragraph (as well as your Tolkien send ups) reminds me of his humor.

  2. That sounds fun. Given the excellence of all the entries in this contest, I've actually been considering withdrawing my own first paragraph from An AutTale! Good luck, Peter!


  3. Hehe, I can't imagine reading over 1000 first paragraphs. I entered mine too, but it's a pretty short paragraph and doesn't have quite the pizazz needed to win as a freestanding contest entry.

  4. Jonathan, I'm a huge Discworld fan. Not sure if I could carry that style of humour for a whole novel, though!

    Good luck with the comp, folks. At 1200 entries and counting it's starting to feel a bit like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...

    There's some breathtakingly good stuff there, too. Bugger ;-)


  5. Hah, those 'tools' sound like something my goblins would use to defeat their foes. ;)

    Good luck with the contest!

  6. You must be having a bad influence on me, Lindsay :-)